What Lies Ahead For Family Caregivers?

Long term care is a family issue, but it is more often a woman’s issue. Throughout history women have been the primary caregivers in our lives. Women live longer than men. Women often care for family members young and old.

The first baby boomers are retiring this year. It is important to understand what lies ahead of us as our nation ages. Women also live longer than men and often care for family of all ages.

As our population begins to age, it's even more important that we understand what lies before us. Although we see increases in male caregivers all the time, the fact
remains that when it comes to Long-term care for our family members and our spouses, today women carry the weight. Daughters, daughters-in-law, wives, sisters, and nieces often ccept the role of caregiver for aging adults in the family. Across
the U.S. there are women commonly referred to as “the sandwich generation" who are
playing dual roles in their families. They are often a mother themselves, but caring for their own aging parents at the same time. The level of stress and frustration can be overwhelming.

Careers are being put on hold, and promotions passed upin order to accommodate the busy schedules of their children and their parents. Even so, there is still not enough time for these women to meet everyone’s needs. A financial burden results
as well.

Women in America also tend to marry men who are older than themselves. Therefore, they often end up caring for their chronically ill spouse in later years. When this happens, it is sometimes the case that all of the retirement funding and assets are used by the “ill” spouse for long-term care, leaving nothing in savings to care for
the “well” spouse later in life.

It is estimated that one out of two women will need long-term care at some point in their lives. One out of three men will also require long-term care. So why do more women need services? Our life expectancy is still longer than the average male.

So, then, when a caregiver needs a break, where can they turn? Caregivers of all kinds need a break now and then. So, where does a caregiver turn when they are feeling stressed out, tired, emotionally drained, or overwhelmed? Respite (res- pit) care is often the answer. Respite care is time off for the caregiver. Respite gives the caregiver time away to rest and do necessary activities so that you can continue to provide good care for your loved one. Often, being a caregiver is a job
that can be physically and emotionally draining. Without relief,your physical and emotional health can be affected, reducing the quality of care for your family member.

There are several options when it comes to respite care, which will follow in the next post.

Caregiving Can Take a Toll on Your Health: Take Control

The stress and time that caregiving requires can put a strain on a person's health. Family members, friend, and health care professionals can give you a break and help out when you cannot be there.

Find out what tasks family and friends are willing to help with. Keep the list of people you can call on with their telephone numbers and a list of things they will help you with.

A structured schedule and tasks that need to be taken care of are a big help to those that are helping. This provides a framework of what needs to be done, and when. Having this list ready ahead of time will also take the stress off of you when you are busy.

Make your own health your first priority. Numerous research studies have shown that caregiver stress can cause illness and premature death due to the stressors of caregiving. Investing in yourself is not selfish, it is necessary for the preservation of your own health and well-being. Taking care of you first will assure that you will be capable of meeting your loved one's needs later. Staying fit and healthy helps you cope, manage stress, and make it through the tough days when they come.

Be dedicated to a health routine that cares for you so that you can be there to care for your loved one. Schedule time for yourself. It's important to be involved doing things that you enjoy to refuel and re-energize.

Eat a balanced diet. Exercise regularly. Get plenty of rest. This will reduce your stress, give you more energy and improve your mood.

See your doctor regularly. Emotional stress and turmoil can be hard on your health.

Take time for yourself several times each week to recharge your batteries.

Who needs a Durable Power of Attorney?

You have the right in most situations to decide what medical care you receive. In order to assure that you maintain these rights if you are unable to communicate your wishes yourself, you can name a Durable Power of Attorney to make medical decisions for you.

Sometimes it is hard to know a patient’s wishes. For example,does your family know
if you want to be on a breathing machine if you are in a coma and will never wake up?You can make sure your doctors and others know your wishes by completing a living will and choosing someone to make decisions for you when you can not.

A Durable Power of Attorney allows you to give someone permission to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to make those decisions yourself. The person you name to represent you may be called an agent, attorney-in-fact, health care proxy, patient advocate, or something similar, depending on where you live. It is unpleasant to think about being seriously ill or injured. However, it may be helpful to think about such situations before they occur. This way you can make your wants and beliefs known. You should talk to your family and your doctor about your beliefs
and the type of care that you do or do not want. What do you want your doctor to do
if you are in a coma? Do you want to go on living if you become terminally ill and
must be fed through a tube?

A Durable Power of Attorney is different from a Power of Attorney. A Power of Attorney allows you to have someone else make financial decisions on your behalf and to pay your bills, and manage your estate if you are currently incapable of handling these matters yourself.

There are several things that you can do to make your doctors aware of your wishes
about using life-sustaining treatment. You can appoint an agent (someone to make
decisions for you), you can prepare a living will, or you can do both.

The most important thing to do is to identify the person who will talk with your
doctor about your medical care if you are unable to do so. This person is your substitute decision maker, or agent. You need to talk to your agent about the care you would want if you were terminally ill or in a coma. Your agent can represent you if you cannot speak for yourself.

You may want to choose your agent now. You can choose whomever you want to serve as your agent — such as your spouse, or a parent, a son or daughter, or a friend. You can make your choice of an agent legally effective by signing a durable power of attorney form.

Your attorney can assist you drawing up this form. If you would like a free copy of an example of a Durable Power of Attorney form, simply e-mail Health Calls @ MRadwanski@healthcallshomehealth.com with your name and address for a copy to be sent to you.

Plan Ahead

If you or a loved one becomes sick and need home health care, what agency should be called?

If you or a loved one can't get around and do for yourself but can still stay at home, what kind of services do you want to help you with daily living?

Most families don't know this information until the unexpected happens. Plan for the unexpected now and share your plans with family members, NOW. Unplanned decisions are uninformed decisions, and in the heat of a crisis, they are rarely in anyone's best interest. Take proactive steps now:

• Create a "Rainy Day Folder" that places all of your directives in one place and share a copy with family members.
• Fill out a Living Will so everyone will know what you want regarding any end-of-life decisions
• Make a list of all your physicians and identify the hospital of your choice in the event of an emergency
• Choose a Durable Health Care Power of Attorney so a trusted loved one can make health care decisions when you're too sick to make them
• Choose a home health agency that will provide home health visits once in hospital or inpatient skilled care is no longer necessary. An agency that can provide private duty care if needed in addition to visits by therapists and nurses will help eliminate the need to deal with multiple agencies.

Build a Support System

How To Build a Support System
Look within the family when starting to build a support system. Family members, even if not direct caregivers, can be recruited for any number of things. Social support is really important. Some family members may be best at coming over for a coffee and chat and some only feel they are helping if there's things to do.

The point is to try and use the skills of the family to everyone's advantage. So while some are happy to do the grocery shopping, others might be able to take over for a day just once in a while.

Friends & Neighbors
Friendships and neighbors will frequently say "tell me if there's anything I can do". Unfortunately, those offers to help are going to dwindle over time if you don't allow them to do something. How many times is someone going to offer their help if they are constantly turned down? Friends can be very helpful if they are given tasks that both of you are comfortable with. For example, they may feel inadequate taking over for an entire day, but may be a huge help with getting odds and ends completed while you are busy with giving your loved one a bath. Tasks such as cooking or doing some ironing may seem small and insignificant to them, but make a huge dent in the daily work load for you. Think about what the neighbor may really be saying when they offer their help; for the most part it's not just lip service. My sister's mother-in-law was reluctant to take a neighbor up on her offer to visit with her infirmed mother on a Saturday afternoon while she went to her grandson's football game. She really did want to help! Leaving her "Mum" in the care of the neighbor gave both of them quality time. Enid came back home recharged and ready to tackle the rest of the weekend.

Community Services
Check the yellow pages, read the newspaper to see who offers what. You may find volunteer networks, handymen and services you hadn't previously thought of that could help your particular needs. Most larger towns and cities have their own websites. You may find a place to post free ads for volunteer help or services.

Websites
The fact that you are reading this means you are already using the net to your advantage. You might also want to check out eldercare locator who offer a service to link those who need assistance with state and local area agencies on aging and community-based organizations.

Respite
Respite provides alternate care for a person in order to give their caregiver some time away from their caring role. Respite can often be undertaken in your own home, or day centers, or a residential facility. To find out out respite care speak to people in your local area, or your local doctor or social services.