Caring for your older relative or coordinating services for them through community agencies can be overwhelming. Feelings of frustration, depression, anger or guilt are not uncommon. Many caregivers decide to join a support group to provide emotional comfort. These groups allow people to share feelings and information and relieve stress, resentment and anxiety. Others seek help from their clergy or call their local agency on aging for assistance.
The following questionnaire will help you to become more aware of the stresses that you may be under. For each statement, answer for yourself whether each statement describes you or does not describe your situation.
I find I can't get enough rest.
I don't have time for myself.
I feel frustrated or angry.
I feel guilty about my situation.
I don’t get out much anymore.
I argue with the person I am caring for.
I argue with other family members.
I don't feel I know enough to be an effective caregiver.
If the response to one or more of these statements is "describes me," it may be time to begin looking for help with caring for your older relative and help in taking care of yourself.
Signs of Too Much Stress
PHYSICAL: headache, muscle aches, sleeping and eating problems, getting sick frequently.
EMOTIONAL: guilt, anger, loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
MENTAL: forgetfulness, difficulty making decisions, attention wandering.
INTERPERSONAL: withdrawal, blaming, irritability, impatience, and sensitivity to criticism.
SPIRITUAL: feelings of alienation, loss of hope, purpose, and meaning.
What caregivers need most, say professionals, is a clear sense of their own limits as caregivers. This means you may want to try to:
· Talk openly with your aging relative and other family members.
· Assess the problems.
· Figure out where to get help.
· Decide how much help you can realistically supply.
As you begin to assess your own situation keep in mind:
(1) Caring for yourself is a priority.
(2) Know and respect your limits.
(3) Arrange for time for yourself (to be alone).
(4) Arrange for time with a spouse, other family and friends.
(5) Give yourself credit for things you do well.
(6) Caregiving can be a partnership in which you share responsibilities with others.
Fortunately there are some things that you can do to help manage caregiving stresses. The first step is to reflect on how you spend your time each day. Imagine a "typical" day. Ask yourself, "How much time do I spend?" (estimate the number of minutes or hours each day)
EATING _____
SLEEPING _____
GIVING CARE TO AN OLDER PERSON _____
TAKING PART IN FAMILY ACTIVITIES _____
WORKING AT MY JOB _____
ACTIVITIES WITH FRIENDS & NEIGHBORS _____
SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES _____
BEING ALONE _____
OTHER _____
Total Hours _____
Now that you have sketched out how you spend your time, you can determine how much time you have for yourself and how much time you have with friends or other family members.
Case Study:
Nan Harris felt guilty about asking someone to stay with her father while she did errands but she couldn't find time to go food shopping or keep her own doctors' appointments. Even more troubling, she realized that the only person she was regularly talking to was her sister. Somehow, the challenges of arranging care for dad had taken a priority over keeping up with friends and her own interests. The second step may be to arrange for a substitute caregiver for short periods of time so that you can get some time away from your caregiving responsibilities.
Nan called her Area Agency on Aging for information about eldercare services. She was fortunate because there was a respite program near her which provides trained volunteers to act as substitute caregivers for short (2-4 hours) periods of time once a week. Nan later related that the "time I spent alone revitalized and recharged me."
Listening to music, reading, taking walks and other forms of exercise, can help you to better handle the stresses you may experience during the day. Taking care of personal business also can help you feel more in control of daily pressures. While most caregivers feel that they can, should or must provide all the care to their family member, carrying the total burden is not helpful and probably impossible in the long run.The third step is to ask for other assistance from family, friends, churches, in-home aide services and community agencies.
Before you dismiss the idea of seeking help consider these three points:
1. Additional help allows you to be a more effective caregiver by giving you time away from the person you are caring for.
2. Your spouse or older relative benefits by seeing and being with someone other than you.
3. Community-based services often allow the older family member to postpone using a nursing home by providing the more difficult and/or skilled care that is needed and can be provided in the home.
Showing posts with label Caregiver stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caregiver stress. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Caregiving: A Difficult Role
Being a caregiver for an older adult is a tough job. Caregivers are faced with decisions everyday. Throughout the caregiving ecperience, people second guess themselves about every day care. You may ask yourself "what would my loved one do if were me receiving the care"? You find yourself trying to hang on to anything that might indicate a wrong diagnosis.
Accepting a diagnosis such as cancer, Alzheimer's disease, MS, or Parkinson's disease is very hard to do. As each day passes, there are new challenges. It can be a surreal experience. It takes a team to handle the ever changing situation as you do your best to keep your loved one safe and to keep yourself from becoming burned out.
You must be sure your loved one is safe in their own home. In many cases, movement can deteriorate as a disease progresses, so safety and prevention of falls become a primary concern.
Alzheimer’s disease patients may awaken at night and must be supervised to insure they don't wander away from the home. The job of a caregiver is so taxing that it is best handled by a family team if possible.
Each family member can take on a different role, doing what each are best at. Some may be able to sit by the patient and talk and make the loved one smile. Others can tackle the legal issues and paperwork that seems endless. Everyone can give all that they can and do the best at what they know how. Not everyone is good or comfortable in the same role.
Consider the story of Bettty. She is 58 years old and the sole caregiver to her husband, John, 64 years old, who was diagnosed with primary-progressive multiple sclerosis, three months following his retirement. He is paralyzed from the upper chest downwards-and is losing ground every day. By necessity Betty has learned to use power tools, do plumbing chores, get urine out of the carpet, recognize possible pressure sores and dress a 6’5", 240 pound dead weight.
All the errands, car servicing and driving are her responsibility. She does all the cooking, shopping, cleaning and laundry and has learned to give haircuts because she has found that the outside world really isn’t wheelchair accessible.
She misses the hugs, the snuggling, the hand holding, the love making, the dancing, and the strong shoulder to lean on. Depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and fear (including fear of getting sick herself and not being able to care for her husband and the fear of what will happen to her) – and guilt because she feels those things –are constant companions.
She needs help finding affordable long term care insurance that takes into consideration the fact that MS (and other chronic illness) patients can live decades while totally physically incapacitated. She needs a central clearing house of services available to assist her in caring for her husband and home.
It is important for families to reach out for help. Don’t be embarrassed by the things your loved one may say or do. They are ill and people will understand. Seek the help of friends, your church, social services, and if possible, a geriatric care manager. The job of caregiver is too big for one person regardless age or background. Eventually you will need help and you shouldn’t wait until the disease has taken a physical and mental toll on you along with your loved one. Go to local support groups or support groups on line.
If you live in Berks County, PA and would like a listing of local support services, please contact me at the confidential e-mail link on the right side of this blog page.
Accepting a diagnosis such as cancer, Alzheimer's disease, MS, or Parkinson's disease is very hard to do. As each day passes, there are new challenges. It can be a surreal experience. It takes a team to handle the ever changing situation as you do your best to keep your loved one safe and to keep yourself from becoming burned out.
You must be sure your loved one is safe in their own home. In many cases, movement can deteriorate as a disease progresses, so safety and prevention of falls become a primary concern.
Alzheimer’s disease patients may awaken at night and must be supervised to insure they don't wander away from the home. The job of a caregiver is so taxing that it is best handled by a family team if possible.
Each family member can take on a different role, doing what each are best at. Some may be able to sit by the patient and talk and make the loved one smile. Others can tackle the legal issues and paperwork that seems endless. Everyone can give all that they can and do the best at what they know how. Not everyone is good or comfortable in the same role.
Consider the story of Bettty. She is 58 years old and the sole caregiver to her husband, John, 64 years old, who was diagnosed with primary-progressive multiple sclerosis, three months following his retirement. He is paralyzed from the upper chest downwards-and is losing ground every day. By necessity Betty has learned to use power tools, do plumbing chores, get urine out of the carpet, recognize possible pressure sores and dress a 6’5", 240 pound dead weight.
All the errands, car servicing and driving are her responsibility. She does all the cooking, shopping, cleaning and laundry and has learned to give haircuts because she has found that the outside world really isn’t wheelchair accessible.
She misses the hugs, the snuggling, the hand holding, the love making, the dancing, and the strong shoulder to lean on. Depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and fear (including fear of getting sick herself and not being able to care for her husband and the fear of what will happen to her) – and guilt because she feels those things –are constant companions.
She needs help finding affordable long term care insurance that takes into consideration the fact that MS (and other chronic illness) patients can live decades while totally physically incapacitated. She needs a central clearing house of services available to assist her in caring for her husband and home.
It is important for families to reach out for help. Don’t be embarrassed by the things your loved one may say or do. They are ill and people will understand. Seek the help of friends, your church, social services, and if possible, a geriatric care manager. The job of caregiver is too big for one person regardless age or background. Eventually you will need help and you shouldn’t wait until the disease has taken a physical and mental toll on you along with your loved one. Go to local support groups or support groups on line.
If you live in Berks County, PA and would like a listing of local support services, please contact me at the confidential e-mail link on the right side of this blog page.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Risks to Spousal Caregivers When Spouse is Ill
When one spouse of a married couple is in the hospital or dies, there is a risk that the other spouse will become ill or die.The level of risk for the caregiver depends on the type of medical condition that the ill spouse has. This study was done by Harvard Medical School. 500 couples age 65 or older were evaluated over a period of nine years. During that time, more than two-thirds of the individuals were hospitalized and more than one-third died. The study was able to evaluate how specific illnesses or diseases affect the caregiver partner.
A wife’s risk of death is 61 percent greater during the first 30 days following the death of her husband. If a wife dies, the husband’s risk of death during the first 30 days increases by 53 percent. Time tends to help people heal. After one year, surviving husbands in the study had a 21 percent increase in the risk of death, and surviving wives had a 17 percent increase.
One of the most significant finding of this study is the serious effect that a spouse’s hospitalization can have on the caregiver spouse. In some cases, the effect of sudden, serious illness is almost as devastating to the caregiver spouse as a death would be. This risk remains elevated for up to two years. The period of greatest risk is within 30 days of a spouse's hospitalization or death.
Researchers have found that caregivers tend to have more of the following:
• Decreased ability to fight illness
• Slower healing rates
• Higher hospitalization rates
• Higher death rates
• Higher incidence of headaches, gastro-intestinal problems and insomnia
• Increased risk of heart disease
• Increased rates of poor general health
The following are examples of psychological effects common to caregivers.
• Depression
• Anxiety disorders
• Stress/ Burden
• Guilt
• Higher incidence of suicide
Emotional signs of caregiver stress and exhaustion include:
• Anger at self and the patient
• Social withdrawal from friends and activities
• Irritability leading to moodiness
• Negative thoughts and reactions
• Inability to concentrate
• Problems at work
• Alcohol and other substance use
Through all this muck is some good news. Research has also clearly shown that access to a good social support network can offset some of the physical, mental and emotional effects some caregivers deal with:
• Seek help for depression or stress. Don’t be afraid to recruit family and friends to help, or join a Caregiver Support Group. The first step is the hardest, but you will be glad you did.
• Call your local Area Agency on Aging. Find out about Respite Programs, Caregiver Care Coordination and other caregiver programs. Take advantage – they are there to help you.
• Inform yourself. Seek out educational resources online or at your local community or senior centers.
• Visit your doctor regularly. Prioritize your health; it is just as important to care for yourself as it is for the one that you love.
You can't take care of your loved one properly without first taking care of yourself.
• Taking Care of Yourself
You, the caregiver, are incredibly important. The welfare of another person depends on you. If you aren't in good health, that other person also may suffer. So, if you've taken on the role of a caregiver, you've also accepted a special responsibility to take care of yourself. That means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, interpersonally and financially. Listen to your body. Your body will tell you when you are pushing yourself too hard.
• Pay attention to nutrition. Take your vitamins and make a good diet a part of your life.
Daily Renewal
Caregiving takes energy. Spend a little time every day renewing your energy before you become drained; that way you have a reserve to work from.
• Exercise! Try to squeeze it into your schedule, incorporate it into what you already do. Try walking more and see how your energy increases.
• Take time off. It is often easier said than done, but even just an hour can make a world of difference. Use family or community support to make this happen.
• Try relaxation techniques. You can do them anywhere, and they can often give you that extra energy you need. Do breathing exercises, meditate before bed or try aromatherapy. Do what works for you.
A wife’s risk of death is 61 percent greater during the first 30 days following the death of her husband. If a wife dies, the husband’s risk of death during the first 30 days increases by 53 percent. Time tends to help people heal. After one year, surviving husbands in the study had a 21 percent increase in the risk of death, and surviving wives had a 17 percent increase.
One of the most significant finding of this study is the serious effect that a spouse’s hospitalization can have on the caregiver spouse. In some cases, the effect of sudden, serious illness is almost as devastating to the caregiver spouse as a death would be. This risk remains elevated for up to two years. The period of greatest risk is within 30 days of a spouse's hospitalization or death.
Researchers have found that caregivers tend to have more of the following:
• Decreased ability to fight illness
• Slower healing rates
• Higher hospitalization rates
• Higher death rates
• Higher incidence of headaches, gastro-intestinal problems and insomnia
• Increased risk of heart disease
• Increased rates of poor general health
The following are examples of psychological effects common to caregivers.
• Depression
• Anxiety disorders
• Stress/ Burden
• Guilt
• Higher incidence of suicide
Emotional signs of caregiver stress and exhaustion include:
• Anger at self and the patient
• Social withdrawal from friends and activities
• Irritability leading to moodiness
• Negative thoughts and reactions
• Inability to concentrate
• Problems at work
• Alcohol and other substance use
Through all this muck is some good news. Research has also clearly shown that access to a good social support network can offset some of the physical, mental and emotional effects some caregivers deal with:
• Seek help for depression or stress. Don’t be afraid to recruit family and friends to help, or join a Caregiver Support Group. The first step is the hardest, but you will be glad you did.
• Call your local Area Agency on Aging. Find out about Respite Programs, Caregiver Care Coordination and other caregiver programs. Take advantage – they are there to help you.
• Inform yourself. Seek out educational resources online or at your local community or senior centers.
• Visit your doctor regularly. Prioritize your health; it is just as important to care for yourself as it is for the one that you love.
You can't take care of your loved one properly without first taking care of yourself.
• Taking Care of Yourself
You, the caregiver, are incredibly important. The welfare of another person depends on you. If you aren't in good health, that other person also may suffer. So, if you've taken on the role of a caregiver, you've also accepted a special responsibility to take care of yourself. That means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, interpersonally and financially. Listen to your body. Your body will tell you when you are pushing yourself too hard.
• Pay attention to nutrition. Take your vitamins and make a good diet a part of your life.
Daily Renewal
Caregiving takes energy. Spend a little time every day renewing your energy before you become drained; that way you have a reserve to work from.
• Exercise! Try to squeeze it into your schedule, incorporate it into what you already do. Try walking more and see how your energy increases.
• Take time off. It is often easier said than done, but even just an hour can make a world of difference. Use family or community support to make this happen.
• Try relaxation techniques. You can do them anywhere, and they can often give you that extra energy you need. Do breathing exercises, meditate before bed or try aromatherapy. Do what works for you.
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